A beginning in an ending.
My saying goodbye to you is so much harder than I thought it would be. Maybe because I know I’m not what you need. Maybe because I know I’ll miss you when I’m gone.
Maybe it’s because I got lost in you, and you in me.
Finding my way in all our tangled up dysfunctional mess has been a task (to say the least). I found my light, my heart, my soul…what truly makes me happy. I finally figured out that all these thoughts I think and the feelings I feel are not something to be ashamed of, but rather something to take pride in.
Problem is, I can’t find joy in my truth just yet.
Problem is, I have to leave you behind to do it.
I wish this were easier. I wish I didn’t have to hurt you. I wish I didn’t have to hurt. I know we’ll be better for it once we unweave all the time and the lies and the passion and….love. All that love.
Good thing it’s not the same love we had in the beginning or we may not have the strength to let go.
Good thing we figured out we can’t fuel love with memories.
I’ll miss you when I’m gone.
But I’ll be happy for you. You’ll find someone who can love you fully, and maybe I will too.
Please remember that I love you. I always will. Just not the way you needed me to.